It is not selfish to want to give so much of yourself to your family. In fact, it is one of the few litmus tests for spiritual maturity the apostle Paul listed for elders (1 Timothy 3:5). The Lord requires it of serious disciples (Titus 2). If you can handle all of the problems that happen in a home, the outside world is a piece of cake, later on.
I counsel all moms of young children to do “next-to-NO” work/service/ministry outside the home—because every time you do, you shortchange your own family’s development, security, godliness.
When your children mature, they will extend your life into the big wide world. Thus, your input and influence in the big world can be doubled, tripled or quadrupled (however many children you are able to send out), later on. No one wants help, counsel, tips or service from a woman whose family is known in the community to be a disaster. Conversely, they’ll beat a path to your door if your family is a spiritual, emotional, relational and academic success.