Answering the qualms about socialization of homeschooled children

Answering the qualms about socialization of homeschooled children

Renee EllisonDec 22, '21

"I’m having qualms about how my children will learn socialization if they are homeschooled."

When most homeschoolers begin homeschooling the most frequently asked question from relatives and friends is "Aren't you worried about socialization?"  At first such a question makes a newbie homeschooler quake.  But upon a closer examination and a little more time a homeschooler grows in her unclouded perspective to such a degree that she answers confidently:  "Yes, I am worried about socialization.  That's why I homeschool!"

Peers do not make good role models.  Peers do not make good missionaries.  Peers do not have enough of an experience base to make good mentors of other peers.  They don't know what wisdom IS yet.

The Bible says, "Those who walk with the wise will be wise" (Proverbs 13:20).  So, the only thing we have to find out is who are the wise?  The answer: they are spiritually mature Christian adults—i.e. parents, and some grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other mature Christians.  The more time your child can spend with these people, the more refined they will become.  Their association with wise elders will keep your children out of multitudes of temptations, and they will learn from their observations of hours and hours of spiritually mature responses to all of life's vicissitudes, which then become easy to emulate and imitate.

When children are taught that their siblings and other close family members should be the focus of all the great majority of their social yearnings, they can create lifetime best friends for themselves.  Children cannot figure this out by themselves.  They need parents to tell them, show them, and emulate it for them.  Children so trained will be comfortable with all age groups.  Conversely, children who have been socially indoctrinated in the public schools can only relate to peer ages with ease.  Most of them won't even look adults in the eyes when speaking to them, and they often show disdain for those who are much younger than themselves.

Public education has its mincing inroads into the heart.  Therefore, watch diligently at the doorway of socialization bonding with families whose children are public-schooled.  Public education is 12-plus years of training children to ignore God (at best), and to become irritated with Him (at worst).  Is this the influence you want for your child?  If not, hover over beginning peer relationships.  Who are those peers?  What do they spend the majority of their time doing?  What are the primary sources that influence their own behavior?

Strive to raise a holy child.  A holy child gives you no regrets in your golden years.  If we spend the bulk of our lives content with athletic and academic training of our children that is largely secular and pagan, going through the motions of child-training without a focused deliberate eye on raising up godly seed, we can find, sadly, later that we have wasted our finest energies on that which is not eternal.  Life is not a dress rehearsal.  This is the real deal.

It is most interesting to note that John the Baptist [actually, the Baptizer] emerged a leader of men from a totally isolated childhood, raised with no siblings and only elderly parents; the same was true of Joash.  Joash ruled all of Israel—presto—from the get-go—right out of isolation.  You, too, strive for a private life full of character training and endless expressions of sacrificial love within a family, and your later public influence will be immense.  Do it the other way around and your life can fall like a house of cards.

Godly seed is fragile.  Roaring lions crouch at the door, seeking to devour it.  The remnant has more than once dwindled; historically it has become breathtakingly thin.  At one point it only consisted of Noah's family of eight.  There is a real war that we were born into.  Keep watch.  Be vigilant.  Don't let down your guard.  Arrive on the  other side of the Jordan at least with your own offspring.  Present to God your godly seed.

For more tips on how to raise a holy child, read Renee's eBook on How to Cultivate a Lasting Love of the Bible in Your Children.

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