(from a friend in N. Carolina)
“Loneliness can be a consuming feeling. I think that's why some of us women tolerate abuse. Sometimes abuse is much easier to deal with than loneliness.
Until we come to the depth in our relationship with God that we see Him truly there daily, our dependency in humankind can be our idol.
Going through this loneliness myself, I had to keep reminding myself that I came out of a toxic environment and was mourning for a relationship which had been toxic. Daily, I began to praise God for the freedom from that life and thanking Him for bringing me into a new life. Daily I struggled with loneliness.
Sharing with Him my loneliness, asking Him to help me guard my heart and thoughts, asking Him to teach me how to rely on Him to fill that void and not other people in that emotional vulnerable state was key. If we seek Him He will be found.
When we begin to move forward in life, like the Hebrews coming out of Egypt, there are times we forget the bondage and the abuse and all we see is the cucumbers. We have to control our thoughts and not rehash the cucumbers of bondage but trust Him in the wilderness of loneliness to bring us to a closer understanding and relationship with Him.
We can know things in our minds, like from childhood we believe God is there but we have to step into a deeper relationship than that and know it, know Him, at a deeper level.
The Almighty, who became my Covering, would use people like you to touch base with me occasionally and help keep me sane, would help keep those ebbs of loneliness from drowning me.
I would remember another sister mentioning the laughing exercises. Even in the pits of despair I would make myself laugh and read aloud points of thankfulness.
. I am thankful I am not in a toxic environment.
. Thank You for delivering me.
. Thank You for being my Guide and I trust You will teach me.
. Thank You for putting those in my life who give me good counsel and confirmation.
. Thank you that I have food and a roof over my head.
. etc... and then laugh. It did make a difference. It was like I had to teach my flesh to have joy before happiness even came. It did help the healing process.
I had to learn to move forward, be in action and not stagnant. This includes all areas of life. That is when He began to show direction and show how His presence daily. His hand is now obvious everyday.
The Father says to forsake not the gathering of yourselves. There is a strength in that fellowship and it does fill a need we have for each other in our lives, we do need people but there is a balance and codependency. Identifying each is helpful.
Until there is a healing from the situation we came out of we can't fully enter in to a new relationship. When an arm is broken it has to be put in a cast for a period in order to heal. Sometimes there is pain during that healing process and itching and that arm wants to do things but it has to rest and heal and eventually it becomes stronger than before, it becomes a more effective arm. We have to allow ourselves to heal and become stronger, to become more effective in time. If we don't allow that healing then gangrene can set in.
I'm not sure how to help another person as all of our lives have circumstances that are slightly different, I can only share what was a help to me."