Every married couple knows that marital conflict can flare up over nearly any little instant issue or larger smoldering issue at any moment of the day or night. Here's the secret formula for a good response by you, sister:
The wise woman will slip out of the mounting argument at the moment that it presents itself. She will table it and tackle it later, at a far quieter time, when the need to be "right" (for BOTH persons) will have diminished and the passions cooled. At that time she can present her case more delicately, with a fuller explanation, and probably in a more loving manner.
And, wonder of wonders, one finds as the marriage matures that one does not need to tackle everything. Many little things can be left un-tackled. Taking everything to the mat is not good for the marriage. Square yourself now with the idea that some differences will remain with you over the length of the marriage to be quietly tucked into your grave along with you, when the Lord takes you home. Two people don't have to see eye to eye on everything.
Marriage must retain some whimsy and delight (which we make; it doesn't just happen) or the marriage ceases to be a warm companionship and turns into a perpetual wrestling match of wills.
Nonetheless, some discussions are necessary. So, have the important ones. Don't bury them indefinitely because you know that they are going to require some emotional work that you'd rather avoid. But wait for the right time. Good ongoing communication will produce godly family harmony and will be a step toward maintaining short accounts with one another. The ability to have good relating is the woman's chief adornment. God gifted her with relational agility and creative relational flexibility which, when employed wisely, will produce wholesome "get-along-flourishing" in the heart of the home.
For more on this topic, read our book, Wise Womanly Ways to Grow Your Marriage. Or, for a quick read of the most relevant portion of that book, download our 7 Womanly Secrets to Marital Harmony.
