Here is a problem sent to us regarding academic chaos, the discussion of which might help you or someone you know. Perhaps not this specific problem but versions of it.
Peggy wrote that she and her husband (who both have full-time jobs, plus) have been homeschooling their 11-year-old son for four years, and they’re struggling with time management, organization, and how to motivate him. She describes him as a creative type, whose learning is interest-driven. His mind is constantly busy with ideas, which are distracting him. He spends all day all night doing the subjects he's interested in, and his interests shift constantly. Currently they are focused on mushrooms and piano. He is reluctant, dragging, slow to tie in to his required subjects. Organizing is a challenge for him; his papers and clothes are cast about everywhere despite Mom’s constantly reminding him to clean it up. Various attempts to have him follow a complicated weekly/daily schedule have failed, and now there is no plan at all. They go with the flow; the only thing done for sure each day is to read the Bible, which sometimes consumes the entire morning. If his parents aren’t on him, he's reading mushrooms books and playing the piano all day. Mom feels frustrated by the unproductivity and always being behind schedule. She herself feels scattered, since she, like her husband, works a full-time job and she likes to garden and cook. She knows some changes are necessary, because she feels like she is on a treadmill everyday, never getting caught up.
We responded:
You have a Resistant Student --and that doesn't seem to be one of the e-Books you ordered. Want it? It describes nine possible causes of a child being a reluctant learner -- and some possible remedies.
A second thought we shared is the challenges and opportunities of raising an only child. When our daughter was fairly young and we were meeting lots of similar-sized families at conferences around the country, Renee interviewed many of the moms and wrote up our little e-Book on Raising an Only Child. An only child has no built-in playmate except his parents. This means it is crucial for Dad to be fully involved. There are three legs to the stool of the family that has an only child, and if one leg is shorter or is missing, the stool is wobbly. Our motto when Melanie was young was the Latin phrase, Ubi Trinitas, Ibi Amor, which means "where there is a trinity, there is love." It takes all three, and a child's relationship with his father is a key to establishing a strong and vibrant personal identity. We suggested Peggy think of ways to encourage her husband to be “the man” when he is in the home (regardless of whether or not she is there). The mom is the heartbeat of the home; the dad builds the identity of each person in the home. The more Dad can invest in their child, the better. That includes his taking full charge of the child training, including initiating in seeing to it that behaviors or attitudes that need correction get corrected (via asking the Lord for the wisdom to give their son godly and necessary responses.) Renee advised Peggy that as Dad does so, she should never openly contradict whatever approach he takes; her best role towards both of the men in the home is to encourage and exhort both of them to keep going onward and upward. When the two parents are alone, she of course would do well to brainstorm with him and use the synergy of what the Lord knew to give each other as spouses, to tangle successfully with this tiger of misbehavior.
A third suggestion was to limit the activities -- including the Bible time -- to some relatively short span that is appropriate for the son, and aim to have all the basics conquered by noon, five or six days a week. Read our e-Book about making homeschool to-do charts and post a chart on a large sheet of paper in a centrally visible area of your home where all three of you can see it as you're passing by. You three can establish the tasks (academics, spiritual, personal hygiene, room clean-up and house chares) that are non-negotiable. It will be up to your son to check off each one as he completes it for that day. If there is a checkmark but the work was not done or was done shoddily, there will be correctional responses by Dad (if he's home) or you (if Dad isn't home at the time). Set short time spans for the tasks, especially the ones that are unsavory to your son at present. And then, in the afternoon he can pursue mushrooms and piano to his heart's content, perhaps including his writing an outline for a talk about them. He can stand up upon a stepstool or chair and have fun giving his speech to his parents in the evening.
Afternoons are for getting in the optional enhancements for a balanced life, which can do as much for building brainpower etc. as the morning basics accomplish. If he's truly working at the basics most mornings, even though it's only 10 to 20 minutes per topic per day, don't sweat it. He's bright and between the challenges you put on him and those he adds, he'll have a good shot at becoming the man his heavenly Father wants him to be.
