Pre-marriage advice: Be sure of the faith of your intended

Pre-marriage advice: Be sure of the faith of your intended

Renee EllisonFeb 18, '24

Bride-to-be: does your intended believe that Jesus/Yeshua is the Son of God and that He died for his sins?

If your intended, no matter how likeable as a person, is unsure of the divinity of Jesus/Yeshua, that will show up in conversation.  One can tell from conversation if he is still very unsure of the role of the Messiah, Yeshua, in his life.  If you gave it more time, that may clarify things.  You'll be more sure of the foundation of his faith for the family you would build together, one way or the other.  These issues aren't big between friends, but they become HUGE within marriage.  If you want to tell your five-year-old child something positive about Yeshua, for example, and your husband won't allow it, these become HUGE issues.

Marriages are so easy to get into, but hell to get out of.  A marriage shipwreck does something to a person – you're never the same.  By withholding yourself from him now (so long as he remains unsure about the divinity of the Savior, it forces the issue.  This is what one young woman wisely did with the man who was interested in her, when he wasn't serious about the Bible and his faith (different issue, but comparable).  She withheld herself.  Soon afterwards, he got busy and figured it out and changed his focus and his habits.  Now that he is the father of her children, she is so glad that she made this an issue, before marriage, by saying that she couldn’t marry until they had agreement on this vital issue.

The following is an analogy that you could use with him.  Let's say that your earthly father knew that if he did two things out of deep love for you, it would somehow benefit you profoundly, put you in a higher place in the next life, and in fact he did those two things for you, at great personal cost.  Let's say that those two acts were 1) to deliberately ride his motorcycle over a cliff to his death AND 2) give you his property, all his land.  What would your response be to him and such acts?!  You'd be amazed at his love.  But if you only cared about his property (the holy land of Israel) and not his personal sacrifice for you (his wounds, and death, and self-denial in your behalf) would he think you really loved him?  This Yeshua who died for you will be the same one who comes back for you – it won't be a different Messiah that you see in glory.  It says in Scripture that at that moment when Yeshua is seen in the clouds, and the revelation at last dawns on them, some will weep that they didn't understand this the first time, and ignored Him.  This will not be ordinary grief, this will be the grief of regret, this will be wailing grief.

There is no issue in life bigger than this.  Who was/is Yeshua (Jesus)?  History tells us that He definitely was a figure on the earth 2,000 years ago, so that leaves only three options of who He was.  He was either a liar (claiming to be God), or a lunatic, or one's Creator/Lord.  (One cannot simply say He was a good person or a prophet, because a good person wouldn't lie.)  He is either a person's whole life or He isn't.  This very issue caused shipwreck for the marriage of a close young relative of ours, because this area wasn't solid, and the whole life of her husband deteriorated from there. We know of several other similar heart-wrenching stories that started with the denial of the divinity of Yeshua.

Be very careful to cover this issue before marriage.  It will result in long-term peace for you and your future children to get this area secured before saying “I Do!”

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