Bible jokes

Bible jokes

Renee EllisonSep 11, '24

Who was the MOST disappointed when the prodigal son returned home?

  •      The fatted calf!

On a tour through the Garden of Eden, older brother speaking to younger brother:

  •      "That's where your mother ate us out of house and home." 

Eve, jealous of Adam's long absence through the day.

     Eve: Is there another woman in your life?
     Adam (lifting his shirt):  "Count my ribs!"

The doctor who delivered Abram's baby had a lisp.  When asked "is it a girl?  He answered "No, Ishmael."

How does Moses like his coffee?       Hebrews it.

What kind of tiles are in the Father's many mansions?     Gentiles

Jesus, when entering a restaurant: "Table for 26 please."
     Waiter:  "Why, sir?  You only have 12..."
     The Savior:  "Yes, but we're all gonna sit on one side."

 

Possible candidates for the shortest man in the Bible:

  1.      Nehemiah (knee-high-myah)
  2.      Bildad the Shuhite (Bildad the shoe-height)
  3.      The Apostle Peter, who slept on his watch

After Jesus (Yeshua) was born, a song was written about His mother: "Mary had a little lamb."

Jesus is divine and we are de-branches.

Church disputes are settled with canons.

How did Delilah get into Samson's house?      She picked his locks.

Who was the most business savvy-woman in the Bible?    Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the Bank of the Nile and drew out a little profit.

When Paul lost his eye-sight, it was appalling.

Goliath's last thoughts: nothin' like this has ever entered my mind before.

For more, order our 33-page downloadable e-Book of Clean Humor for Family Road Trips. One funny after another. Great for reading aloud on trips or at family gatherings.

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